Updated: Feb 2
You don't ever have to tolerate people who treat you poorly. It doesn't matter if it's a friend, family member, or partner. It doesn't matter how long you've known them or how nice they may have been to you in the past.
You are allowed to call people out on their abusive behavior. You are allowed to set boundaries about what you are and are not going to tolerate. You are allowed to vocalize how abuse makes you feel. You are allowed to share those feelings and experiences with other people. If necessary you are allowed to leave and distance yourself. You have every right to stand up and say I love you and I really want you to be part of my life but I can't continue to allow you to treat me this way. If things don't change, I'm going to have to cut you out of my life. Not because I don't care about you or respect you but because I care about and respect myself.
After a while you learn this subtle difference between unhealth and healthy when it comes to relationships. Unhealthy: The difference between holding a hand or chaining a soul. You learn that love is not always healthy and company does not always mean security. You begin to learn that kisses are contracts and presents are promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead. With the grace of a woman not the grief of the child.
You begin to learn to build all roads today because tomorrow's ground is uncertain. For plans in the future have a way of falling down after a time. You learn that sunshine burns if you get too much.
Do supply your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure. You really are strong. You have worth and you learn to honor your own worth with every goodbye.
I know you sometimes feel tired and fed up. That sometimes you feel close to breaking down. There are times you will lose hope. There are some people who will hurt you. There will be times you will feel defeated and frustrated. But there IS a strength within you, even when you feel weak, that stays strong.
Keep fighting. Even if fighting means laying in your bed binge watching your favorite show. When you are resting, because your body is weak and your soul is tired, try to remember that you are not wasting the day doing nothing. You are choosing to do exactly what you need . You are recovering, recharging and you need to do that as often as you feel the need.
There is hope. There are people who are wanting a healthy relationship. There is hope.