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Grey Rocking

Updated: Feb 23, 2022

Grey Rocking is one of the latest buzzwords in popular mental health articles but what is it really?

Grey rock is a coping strategy is a coping strategy to use with manipulative people or those with narcissistic traits.

To 'Grey Rock' you simply become as unresponsive as possible; similar to a rock. You make yourself purposely uninteresting and unresponsive. This removes their 'fun' out of toying with you.

The following are actions to a grey rock:

  • Keep all interactions brief

  • Repeat the same word or short answer

  • Communicate facts only, no emotions or observations

  • Shrugging or nodding without words

  • No is a complete sentence

  • Avoid eye contact

  • Avoid sharing any personal information

  • Disengage

This is not a researched based approach. Anecdotal evidence shows it is helpful and may be enough to put off some people as they lose interest if they can't provoke you.

Be mindful of 'not taking the bait.' They will try to reel you in based on what you give back. If there is any emotional reaction on your part they are quick to turn that into their advantage. Put the image of a fish hook in your mind and watch for it with regard to your interactions. The bait is put o

n the hook to sweeten the deal right? No fish bites at an unbaited hook. They will throw something out that is meant to get a reaction out of you and when you bite, reel you in.

Looking after your emotional well being is a must if you're dealing with someone that appears to be a narcissist. You must find people you do feel safe with so you can take care of your emotional needs. You have to have a place to voice your emotions and get validation. This could be a good friend, family member, therapist or pastor. It is important you look after yourself because being in any form of relationship with this type of person is exhausting.

Some of these toxic relationships may be ones you have to interact with some frequency such as your children's other parent if you are divorced, a boss/co-worker or ex. partner you are ending it with. Again keep it to just facts and basic information that has to be shared. It is hard at first but like anything else you get better with practice.

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